Common Fears – Page 3 – The Worried Writer

I’m very comfortable talking about writerly fears because, a lot of the time, I have the pleasant feeling that I have overcome (or learned to navigate) them. I think, ‘Oh yes, I used to suffer with that, but now I recognise it and don’t let it stop me.’ Or, I kid myself that because I have read several books on the subject and talked about it on the podcast, I Must Be Immune.

You know they say pride comes before a fall?

Yes. Friends, I must confess: Over the last month or so I have fallen Big Style. And not a sweet, lady-like little stumble, either, but a slapstick my-face-in-a-muddy-puddle trip.

I have been saying to anyone and everyone that ‘I’m stuck’. That I ‘don’t know how my book ends’. That I ‘need to do lots of thinking. And some more research.’

And I believed every word.

Yesterday, however, I had a realisation… I was just scared of finishing the book.

All of the elements are there in sketchy form, and I do know the ending (and have known it for ages), I’m just putting off writing it. I’m scared to get to The End.

Why?

If I finish the book, I have to send it to my agent to be read. Argh!

What’s the real fear, there? My agent, after all, is a very supportive and wise individual. It’s not as if she is going to send me hate-mail or show up on my doorstep with a rifle. No, the fear is that I’d be unmasked as a fraud and a failure. That the Powers would take back my author badge and I’d have to get a real job.

The fears which, when examined, are daft.

Yes, the book might suck. My agent might say ‘this doesn’t work’ and that will feel awful, but it will be solvable. I will be able to rewrite the book to make it better or write something different.

And the fact is, either of those ‘worst case’ outcomes are preferable to this on-going ‘stuckness’ in which I either stare at the WIP with mounting panic or avoid opening the document at all. (And then feel terrible and like a huge failure and moan about how hard it is to my long-suffering family…)

The good news is this: As soon as I realised what my problem was (and that it was, as is Almost Always The Case, fear-based), that fear lost a bit of its power.

I know what I have to do and I’m going to do it. I won’t let the fear of finishing stop me as, luckily enough, my terror of Not Finishing is even bigger.

How about you? Have you ever suffered from ‘fear of finishing’? Head to the comments with your words of wisdom/personal experience/questions!

[Image credit: FreedigitalPhotos.net]

You’re probably familiar with ‘fear of failure’ – it’s one of those anxieties which makes perfect sense. Failing is bad, right? So, it’s natural that we would wish to avoid it.

But what about the opposite of failure? What about fearing success?

If you think about what success means, it’s not that odd… Success means change.

Most of us are a little bit worried about change as it carries an element of risk. The risk comes from moving from the known to the unknown. Yes, we might be able to research or even picture the situation, but until we have lived it for ourselves it remains essentially unknown.

Change is effectively a gamble that the new state of being will be better than our current one and, even with very low stakes, that can add a frisson of fear.

Success in the realm of writing brings its own concerns.

While dreaming of people reading your work, you may simultaneously dread the exact same thing. Not just because you fear your work may be judged harshly or misunderstood, but because it may be understood too well. What if people read your book and infer things about your character you would prefer remained hidden?

Success in writing equals exposure. And, let’s face it, that is scary.

Success in publishing also brings new pressures. Deadlines, the expectations of agents, editors and readers, the pressure to ‘build a platform’ and promote your work. If you envisage these things too thoroughly – and feel alarmed by them – they may rise up to block you from sending your manuscript out (or even finishing it in the first place).

Finally, and this one is a biggie: You might feel you do not ‘deserve’ success.

I’m not suggesting that this one is easily solved, but sometimes recognising (and examining) a negative thought can lessen its power.

Also, if you feel that you don’t deserve success, that you are unworthy of prioritising your writing or getting published, please know you are not alone. There is even a snappy name for it: Imposter Syndrome.

This is the feeling that your achievements (getting a book contract, a great part in a play, starting a successful business) have been acquired via an administrative error and, any moment now, the real experts/professionals/Judges of Artistic Merit are going to turn up and take it all away from you.

It’s a feeling which doesn’t go away with external validation – in fact it can get worse the more successful you become. So, the best thing to do is to keep reminding yourself that all of your most-beloved authors, musicians, actors and artists have almost-certainly suffered from it at some point (and probably still do).

Plus, if nobody feels like the ‘real deal’ you can stop waiting for that magical day and get back to work.

Are you letting ‘fear of success’ hold you back? Let me know if you want more on this topic in a future podcast!

Category: Common Fears

Confessions Of A Worried Writer: Fear of Finishing!

Are You Afraid of Success?